I lost my enthusiasm for writing today. Just when I mapped out everything in my mind, changes have been made, and honestly my mood is at its lowest peak. Ggggrrrhhh. Ok. Maybe, it's just that I'm too close minded today. Honestly, I don't want to receive any opinion. Will you just let me think what I want to think and write what I want to write??!!!!! Good Lord! I really feel so dismal. I want to freak out! But I cant =( that would be the most stupidest thing to do... Just relax Berd, eat your lunch, you're just hungry. Don't lose your composure and self-control. You're not the freaking kind right? So, smile; rise above the challenge. Don't let your emotion eat you. Tame it! Now, take a deep breath and make an inner smile. Does that make you feel better, eh? Yes, a bit. Is it ok if I won't smile all day, I really don't feel right? I am really determined to isolate myself in Mars the whole day. Okay... do whatever you think will help you beat the day... just don't let that ill temper get over you.... Let us finish all your tasks together and call it a day! Now paint that smile on your face. =)

my frustrations

I am tired of people whose lives revolve around other people.

I am tired of attention seekers who flaunt themselves with crowns.

I am tired of gossip makers who blab like empty cans.

I am tired of ego hunters who only do things to massage their pride.

I am tired of the always-right people who see themselves amazingly from their own spectacles.

I am tired of the humble players who's ego and pride are oozing inside.

I am tired of preachers who trash their own lectures.

I am tired of critics who always see other people's faults & misgivings.

I am tired of paranoids who think they're so special that other people envy them.

I am tired of dreamers who do not try to live their dreams.

I am tired of sensitive insensitives who only see their own pain.

I am tired of talkers who never stop to listen.

Most of all, I am tired of writers who really do not have a talent for writing (this is me, which among the list describes you?)

Why do I keep on pretending -
pretending that I'm fine . . . .

I am so tired of laughing -
while my heart bleeds inside . . .

Why do I wear a mask of composure -
when I always have restless nights . . .


Please spare me your pains and troubles -
cause I also have mine . . .

Why do I always choose to be silent -
when my mind shouts and snipes . . .

I rather not hear your nonsense blabber -
much more your causeless cry . . .

Why do I need to show I am strong -
when I know I am shaking inside . . .

I promised to kill the emotion -
I vowed to never cry . . .

Always Sisters

Always sister...
Let us follow our dreams 'til the end of the rainbow.
Let us always be kids in our hearts.
Let us remember the times when we're happy -
and the times we overcome the troubled parts.












Let us cherished every moment that we have together -
For parting time is sure to come.
Life is not always forever,
But the love we have for each other -
through the years shall last.

lost friend

Once I had a dear friend -
A friend so close to my heart.
We promised to be friends forever -
We promised to never part.

We shared our dreams and longings -
We cried in each other's arms.
We were happy when we were together -
Just like the moon and the stars.


But our friendship's fate had been unlucky -
New friends came between our way.
I started to forget her
And she never insists to stay.


One day I heard her crying -
Asking why things don't go as planned.
My friend how could you easily forget me?
Why did you cast behind our bond?



- Dear friend I never forget you.
You are etched into my heart.
You and the memories of times we're together
In my life are always part.

Someday I hope to find you -
Let you know that I still care.
I might have failed the test of friendship -
But my heart never failed to remember.

- for Marianne.

just a thought.

I learned that...
Death is the only thing that is certain in this life.
Friends do not stay forever, they come and go.
Family are the only people who will stick with 'til the end.
Regret is what becomes of you when you expect too much & don't do things your way.
People have their own life to worry about.
Self is the only real friend you have.
Pain is your ally, better get used to it.
Fear only exist if you have a skeleton in the closet. Burn it!
Shut-up if you don't want to sell yourself to your enemies.
Hope is for people who are about to lost everything.
Trust should not be easily given away like a candy.

Escapist

In my world I am not alone.
I got my friends, I got my dreams,
Everything I want is at my hands.
Here, I make the world goes round.

In my world, there is no problem I cannot solve,
and there is no trouble I cannot overcome.
Life is much happier here.
Here, in the world of an Escapist.

the heck with life

I’ve been wasting my life, my time and chances. Hope I can make it through this crazy life. I am doing my best to somehow appreciate every little success I achieve. I am also trying to learn to appreciate even the drops of rain. Will I turn out to be the hero of my own life or a victim of its tragic turns? The answer is, I don’t know. All I know is that I am the one who should be controlling my own life, not fate or destiny.