I love my life more than ever! I have just survived what supposed to be a boring 4-day holiday with the help of my friends. Thanks Edz, Kristal, Briyce, Zen, Shella, Kan, and the rest of the gang for the adventure! I'm having a mixed feeling right now. I'm happy that I had fun; I'm sad coz the fun is over. Hayz life.

Jason Mraz's Senseless Lyrics

I love this guy so much that no matter how senseless his songs are, I still hum and sing my heart out with him on the mp3 player. I love his rhyming and rapping-like singing that I can stand playing his tunes over and over again for a day. However, sometimes, some of his music are simply senseless, in all sense of the word, yeah. Take this stanza from his song "Flying My Guilt Over a Quilt", for example.

Drain the veins in my head
Clean out the reds in my eyes to get by
Security lines, the x-ray machine
Pretend you don't know me so well
I wont tell if you lie
Cry 'cause your droughts been brought up
Drinkin' 'cause you're lookin so good in your Starbuck's cup
I complain for the company that I keep
The window's for sleeping
Rearrange well I'm nobody well who's laughing now?

We'll I don't exactly know if he's using some metaphors, analogies, or any other kind of rhetorics. But no matter how hard I try to analyse, examine and dissect the lyrics, I can't understand why those lines are included in the song in the first place. Perhaps I should ask Jason M himself to explain why he wrote such things. Does anyone of you guys knows his Facebook account?

The Act of Randomness

Randomness – however you define it, is life for me. I have never really enjoyed life until I started to do things randomly. Its meaning is encompassing: it is calling friends late in the evening for an ounce of midnight fun, joining a group of nonfriends for a drink, popping out at a friend’s house uninvited, etc. Randomness is doing things that are not planned. It is breaking the habit, messing up with the schedule.

I used to be the good, silent type of kid, whom you’ll think could pass the test for sainthood. I do things as I planned them; I always follow the rules. I thought my life was perfect then because it was in order; it goes according to plan. I never realised how bad it was until I get to taste the ugly side of life. With ugly I mean getting hurt, disappointed, failed, rejected, and betrayed; it is feeling helpless, hopeless, faithless, and so on. By experiencing these negative emotions, I learned that there is more to life, and I have more control over it. I realised that even if my plans failed, I can choose not to feel bad about them. Even if somebody hurt me, I can choose not to feel the pain. Being random has given me more choices on what course to take, what path to follow, and what decision to make. I have always been afraid of the future coz I have not figured out a plan for it yet. But knowing that I can be random offered me some sort of hope. So, even if my life seems to be at a standstill at the moment, I am confident that I’ll get a resolution through the act of randomness. Amen.

I'm not the sporty kind of girl. As a matter of fact, the only ball game I competitively played during elementary and high school is jack stone (the one with the ball and the Xs). I tried volleyball once in sixth grade, but all I got was a bruised wrist. So, I resolved not to play that game anymore. I had attempted to learn martial arts. I bought some instructional books and videos and worked my ass out. I did it just for the heck of it and because I love Jackie Chan and Jet Li. But the skills I learned from that hard work later came in handy when my cousin had found a new, nice punching bag -- my shoulders. He was brushing up his boxing and karate skills on me, and it was no fun. My shoulders are broad, yeah, but they are not made for punching, and lintik lang ang walang ganti when somebody lay a hand on me. So whenever my cousin spent the weekend with us, no Saturday and Sunday were boring. There's always a fight which, although not bloody, almost always drove my aunt mad. haha. Those were the days, and I cannot help but remember them whenever I forced myself to write an article for our site www.fightstance.com. Boxing and mixed martial arts -- what do I know about them? Not much, I only remember the muscle pain I got during the bouts with my cousin.

Willed the Dream

Dream is but a tiny drop of hope
Like a mist in the morning kissing the flowers
But will is like a threatening cloud
It delivers the flowers' wish for the rain

So when you dream
Don't just dream it
Wish it
Willed it
Put your mind and heart to it

Morning Prayer

Every morning before I wake up I pause to say my prayer.
I ask God what is in store for me this day,
Will it be worthwhile enough to share?
As usual He will answer me in silence;
He will just look me in the eyes and smile.
Then I’ll think to myself, “Oh, what a folly I am-
Of course, I knew the answer well!”

I have grown fast and learned a lot for a very short time. Thanks to all the challenges you gave me Lord. If there are still some important lessons that I need to learn and challenges that I need to face, well then -- bring it on!!!

the guy who fucked up with my life told me -- fuck you bitch!!! Whew, some guys are really born to be a jerk.

i'm back

Hayz, it has been more than six months since I last updated this blog . . . now I'm back!

I can't believe that within that short span of time, a lot of things can happen with my life. It has been really a roller coaster ride, and now I'm back in the boring but problem-free routine. I wish I can freely post everything here, but I have got to leave a little room for discretion -- out of respect for others.

Anyway, I know I can't keep silent forever - no, I'm not the one who will bring a secret to my grave unless I forget it - so I'll try to share to you everything that has happened to me. Not now, however, coz I still need to think it over.