Randomness – however you define it, is life for me. I have never really enjoyed life until I started to do things randomly. Its meaning is encompassing: it is calling friends late in the evening for an ounce of midnight fun, joining a group of nonfriends for a drink, popping out at a friend’s house uninvited, etc. Randomness is doing things that are not planned. It is breaking the habit, messing up with the schedule.
I used to be the good, silent type of kid, whom you’ll think could pass the test for sainthood. I do things as I planned them; I always follow the rules. I thought my life was perfect then because it was in order; it goes according to plan. I never realised how bad it was until I get to taste the ugly side of life. With ugly I mean getting hurt, disappointed, failed, rejected, and betrayed; it is feeling helpless, hopeless, faithless, and so on. By experiencing these negative emotions, I learned that there is more to life, and I have more control over it. I realised that even if my plans failed, I can choose not to feel bad about them. Even if somebody hurt me, I can choose not to feel the pain. Being random has given me more choices on what course to take, what path to follow, and what decision to make. I have always been afraid of the future coz I have not figured out a plan for it yet. But knowing that I can be random offered me some sort of hope. So, even if my life seems to be at a standstill at the moment, I am confident that I’ll get a resolution through the act of randomness. Amen.
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