Dealing with a Break Up: Moving On After a Fatal Crash (Part 2)

When he dropped the bomb and told you that there is no going back to the way it was before anymore, gather what remains of yourself and head on out the door. Don’t look back, just move on….



The following are some of the techniques (tested and proven) that will help you get over the breakup fast without acquiring more scratch for your already broken, beaten heart.



#1 Get rid of everything that reminds you of him. The gifts he gave you on Valentines, on your birthday, on Christmas, and so on? These are but tokens which will remind you every day that the only thing you have left of him are the memories. So gather them all, place them in a bag and return them to their sender. Much better, throw them away, burn them or give them out. However, if you cannot bear the thought of losing the tokens of your once romantic love, lock them up inside the drawer until you can say that you are surely, really, completely over him.



# Remove him from your friend list on social networking sites like Facebook, Twitter, etc. If possible, block him and minimise the amount of time you spent online. The reason? Well girl, you surely would not want to see his new profile picture with his new-found girl friend smiling like a toad, right? You surely would not want to hear how much great time he was having while you are subjecting yourself to a self-inflicted misery. More so, you surely wouldn’t want to be called an “ex stalker”, checking out his status messages every day!



Another reason why I strongly suggest that you limit your presence online, especially your ‘Facebook time,’ is for you to avoid the temptation of spilling your guts out on big, big world of the Web where your friends and families (including enemies) can see your life’s drama unfolds in a very pathetic way.



Trust me, you won’t like the result. I almost (indirectly) let the world know about the plight of my poor, wretched heart on the Internet before. I was so depressed that time; I am so focused on my pain. It engulfed me; all I see was sadness. To cut the story short, my misery found company on Facebook, so I spent more than four hours every night in front of the computer, changing my status messages almost every hour depending on what bleak of an inspiration my depression is giving me. Admittedly, though, I found myself quite creative during those times; I was also extremely pathetic. I never realised what is slowly becoming of me until a friend gave me a kick in the butt in the form of a “motherly” reprimand. What she told me is the most “concernest” (if there is such a word) piece of advice that a true friend can give to a friend. During that time though, it felt like the harshest, unsolicited criticism I ever received. It stung like a bee bite; it felt like a salt on a wound. Nevertheless, it gave me a hell of a wakeup call. And it says, “Hey! Who’s the loser now? Unless you pull yourself up together, you’ll get a one way trip down the drain.”



PRUDENCE, girlfriends, is the keyword here.





#3 Minimise contact, if not, avoid it at all cost. A wound won’t heal if you continuously scratch it.



An ex will probably tell you that he wants to stay friends. That sounds comforting—he still cares about you and there’s a chance you’ll end up together again. So, why not grab that chance? After all, friends is better than none.



But hey! This isn’t being smart, and you will only hurt yourself more in the end.



I can only think of three probable reasons why he would want to still hang around:



* He believes that being “friends” will make everything easier for the both of you. But the truth is, it will only delay your healing process.



* He doesn’t want you to completely disappear from his life. His Days are never the same without you.



Now, don’t get your hopes high because—he also doesn’t want you IN HIS LIFE!



He might miss you only because you have been a part of his routine. Humans are habitual by nature. We miss some people not because we really care for them, but because we are used to having them around.



* He might take advantage of your friendship in one way or another (friends with benefits, influence, etc.).



So, even if you still care about your ex, distance yourself from him. Give yourself some time to heal. Go out with your gals and meet new people. If you and your ex have common friends, ask them not to mention anything pertaining to him. Because whether he got a new job or found a new GF, it is none of your business anymore. You are not part of his life now, and he made that clear when he said that it is OVER. You have your own life to live, so focus your attention on yourself and no one else.



Don’t wait for him. Don’t live at a standstill. Don’t hope that he’ll return. Discover a path that doesn’t lead back to his road. If one day, by God’s mercy (lol), he realize that it’s you he wanted, he’ll catch up with you. And hopefully, you’re not already in love with someone else when that happens.